They say immitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I started Vulvodyniasupport.com in the year 2000. At the time there were only two other sites addressing the issue of Vulvodynia. One was the NVA and the other was run by a doctor in NYC.
As a newly diagnosed patient I saw a serious void and conceived and birthed Vulvodyniasupport.com. Before the launch of this site there was no place to go to find recommended doctors by the patients who visited them, no online listings of support groups, no call to action to post your story for the medical community and pharmaceutical companies to read publically and no easily found page of basic and useful/necessary answers you should know to ask about when visiting your doctor seeking help and care for the disease you are living with. There also was no place to leave your honest feelings about your care or lack there of and share ideas or ask for others to contact you off-site. That is why I knew I wanted a Free Exchange page.
It is now August of 2007. About one year ago, Hanna, whom I have known for many years both through this site as well as personally being invited into her home along with my mother while vacationing in Florida, decided to create and host a similar page on her own creative art website. As all things MUST evolve to grow so too must this site and this Free Exchange page. Since Hanna has done such a wonderful job hosting and running a chat board modeled on the Free Exchange I started in 2000 I feel my hands are freed for me to put this page on my site to better use.
When we begin to heal, we go through different stages. As much as we would like to be able to skip one to get ahead to the next, life just doesn't work that way. We need each step in order to see the lesson needed to continue on our journey of healing. I encourage you to use Hanna's page to vent, share and commiserate if that is what you need at this time in your healing process. The Free Exchange Board is still available to read by clicking the link below. If you need a place to post however, you should visit Hanna's page at http://vulvodynia.hannaoriginal.com
From this point forward I am seeking your help in finding SUCCESS STORIES to post. I believe that an important part of healing is positive thinking and positive reinforcement. Those still suffering need to see our stories of healing to let them know that they can and will also achieve their own healing. There is a time and place to let it out, which is what you can do with Hanna's page. But then if you want to get past the pain, you must be willing to do the hard work and accept that each one of you has the power to heal by making MAJOR changes in your life, including changing your thoughts and patterns that brought you to where you are today. To those newly diagnosed, this is a hard idea to accept. I understand that because I lived that way too. But accepting responsibility for having Vulvodynia is actually empowering. It turns ALL THE POWER over to you instead of the doctors and means you can actually be in control. I know this because I lived this too. It is similar to the idea in the very popular book called The Secret. This is not a new concept however. That book is just the latest to market the idea. Say what you will about that book, but the basic principle of how to create what we want WORKS.
What you focus on is exactly what you will get. So get the anger out of you. Then when you are ready, come back to this page and read the success stories and see and visualize your life free of pain. The key to this concept is to paint the picture of the end result you want, while letting go of the details of the "how". The "how" will take care of itself, present itself to you as long as you paint the picture and believe it. Read the posted stories and you will see that I speak the truth to you today.
American
Holistic Medical Association
Find a doctor (MD) that will treat your mind, body and spirit and truly
heal from Vulvodynia!
Daily Om
Great site to "Nurture your mind, body and spirit"
From the Daily Om
August 14, 2007
Being A Container
Holding Space For Others
We have all been called upon at one time or another
to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists
of concrete actions, such as running errands or making phone calls, we
know what to do. But sometimes we are called simply to hold space for
the person as they go through whatever they need to go through. They may
need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or be silent. They
may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone.
Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves
up as a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering
due to their circumstances.
When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, as our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, and the ability to step out of the way, to honestly understand that this is not about us.
When we love someone
in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be. Able to feel
what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived.
We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from a
distance, through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for
someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.
